1. Your hair is longer than your most recent concert tour.
  2. The pitch of your singing is almost as high as you were last night.
  3. When you want to check your popularity, you look at the Billboard charts.
  4. You still add meaning to your lyrics.
  5. You think that an album cover still needs to be as big as a record.
  6. You think that naming a song “Paradise City” is totally badass.
  7. Your hearing aid is set louder than your amp.

Comment with any more you can think of.

Here are a few that commenters said that were excellent:

  1. You’ve smoked more cigarettes this week than you have sold copies of your latest album.
  2. They’ve named a hairstyle after you.